Keliwilli

Yeah, this is a thoughtful bit and probably filled with a million typos, give me a break, I don’t really like you anyways.  But, I like this peice of writing that I did, so enjoy it.  P.S. its nice and long for your holiday enjoyment!

Love you all

I can’t believe that I found you

Fate did a number on me

If you end up with my arms around you

It’s meant to be

What is fate?  I often wonder what it means to have things happen by fate.  I believe that everything happens for a reason, but does that mean that fate exists?  Is it fate everytime you meet somone?  What if you meet four people, whom all seem to be brought to you by “fate”?  How do you decide which is the right one?

Do you go with the one who is the most convenient, the one you have liked the longest, the one who has the most in common with you, or the one ytou try the hardest to make it work with?  If you spend your time chasing after one of the four, you risk the chance of losing all three of the others.  There is no guarantee that if things don’t work out with the one person you think is right that the others will still be around.  Chances are you wil lose one somewhere, lose them to another, to distance, to time, to everything.  Most lkely, you will ose all of them and be filled with regret.

So how does one go about eliminating these four people to decide which one person she wants to be with?  Does she test them all out and see which one makes her laugh the most, which one fits in best with her personality, which one she has the most fun with, which one has the most money, which one feels just as strongly about her as she does about him?  How can she analyze all of these things for all four guys at the same time, seeing as how she must spend time with each in order to not lose one of the said guys?

Is there a balance between how much time you should spend with each guy?  Should the time spent with eachone be split up equally or should it depend on what is happening, what you are doing, and who you want o do these activities with?  Should unfair advantages be allowed to exist simply becuase of the activity being completed?  Is it fair?  If each guy isn’t given an equal amount of “testing” then is the test really valid?  How can one know what is right if they are given a biased view?

Is it fair to each individual for you to spend time with four different guys all at once?  If the tester is divided between four different guys and deciding between said guys, will she be able to concentrate fully on the guy she is with?  Or will she simply be concerned with comparing each guy to the other the entire time she is out with the individual?  Wondering who is the better eater, who as the best manners, who speaks with the best grammar, who has the better mouth, the better kiss, the better hands, can make the tester lose track o the time spend with the idividuals.  Whats worse, the tester could be so consumed in judging the guys that she loses sight of actually getting to know the guy she is with.

If she is stuck comparing these guys and deciding which one she would rather be with, she is not givinger herself fully to any or all of the guys, she is holding back until she has passed judgment, wondering all the wihle which is the best choice.  She isn’t paying attention to which guy she likes the most, which one she could see herselve having a relationship with, but is rather stuck comparing guys as if they were seperate brands of toilet paper at the grocerty store.  Sure this one feels better, but this one is the better choice because of price.

Putting guys on the same level as objects is not what love should be about.  Comparing them to each other really should not have to occur.  You should have a feeling as soon as you meet somone who is brought to you by “fate” that lets you know he is the one.  There should be no doubt in your mind that this guy is the one ofr you and that all the other guys don’t matter. However, how do you get the guy you have this feeling for to feel the same way about you?

What if the guy you have found and decided on also wonders if you are the girl for him?  What if he is also wondering about four different girls?  What if he is tryihng to decide whihc one is the best “deal”?  What if he is also running a series of tests to decide which girl is the best?  Hod do you go about convinicing him that you are the best?  Do you allow him to run his tests, meanwhile knowing that he is not giving himself to you completely because he is simply comparing you to others rather than allowing his heart to make the decision and toss all the others to the side?

Is it possible to find a guy who feels just as passionately about you as you do about him?  If you find the guy you are sure you want tobe with, but the guy isn’t sure, do you just wait around or do you go and test out more guys? Is it “whorish” to test out other guys while waiting for the guy you love to make up his mind?  What if you waste all your time waiting and the guy comes to a decision that you don’t like?  What if when he makes up his mind his decisions is that he would rather be with someone else?  WHat do you do then?  Go back to testing?

If there is such a thing as fate, how come it doesn’t work how it should?  How come it is so complicated?  If people are truly brought together by fate why is one person usually convinced while the other is floating around trying to decide what they want?  Shouldn’t both people be automatically convinced that they belong to each other from the moment they meet?  Isn’t that the way fate is supposed to work?

Love is the opposite of lust.  Often times people who seem to be brought together by fate learn that they were simply infatuated and have not found the love that they seek.  Infatuation leaves as quickly as it arrives and often leaves the people involved confused as to what happened.  So how does on know when she is brought to another because of lust or because of an actual love that grows deep inside?  Does she have to wait it out and see where the relationship ends up and risk losing it all to infatuation?  Why is infatuation so much fun, but not necessarily good? 

If everything happens for a reson, why can’t we ever figure out the reason?  Do we meet people simply to pass the gime until we meet the next person, or are there truly reasons that they are brought into our lives?  Were they brought there to make us better or worse people?  Brought there to make us love or to make us hate?

Circumstance has a lot to do with everything.  Location is a huge factor in the way things work out.  THe reason summer flings or holiday crushes occur can simply be because of location.  Once you remove yourself from that location you are surrounded by an entirely different group of people whom you are brought to by place.

If I were to stay in one place, how different would my life be?  Not only relationship wise, but in all ways?  If I were to stay in Montana how would I develop and grow as a person, who would my friends be, would I make the same decisions I do now?  Would I be happy?  Would I have the probles I am finding out I have?  Would this all exist or would everything disappear? Would I like those that I only get involved with during breaks or would  Inot because they are always around?  Are the people I like during breaks only liked because they are seen so rarely or do I truly like them?  But, I digress.

As one looks at his surroundings, he finds that he is shaped by where he is.  He is shaped by living in the city or living in the country.  Given country values or given city ideas.  Lifestyles are different, ideas of fun are different, and sense of community is different.  Not only is he shaped by what is around him, but also by who is around him.  By whom he sees everyday, whom he involves himself with, whom he communicates with, and whom he doesn’t interact with.

Everyday opportunities are missed simply because we don’t take the time to meet everyone we see, to involve ourselves with everyone in the world.  We miss the chances to meet some of the most importatnbe people in the world because we are too busy with our own lives, with our own friends, with the people who are brought to us by “fate”, the people we are comfortable with.   We don’t go out of our ways to meet new people, or to take the world in because we are afraid to step away from what is comfortable and what we like.

Is this where fate steps in?  Is fate what causes us to meet only those we are comfortable with and only those who we like?  Is fate what causes us to pick and choose who we meet?  Causes us to shy away from some, but boldly march up to others? Is this fate and how it works?  Are we brought to people we know because of pure chance or does fate play a part in it?  Do we meet people because it was meant to be, because they will teach us something about thew orld or ourseilves, because tehy will change our lives, because there is some reason that we don’t see?  Or do we meet them because we do, for no rhyme or reason?

If there is truly a reason we meet people why are we not presented with said reason?  Why are we not told how each person will benefit us and be of use to us?  Why doesn’t each person come wiht a user’s manual of some type to tell us how we are supposed to use the person, as a friend, lover, or enemy, if we are supposed to keep a hold of the person or simply let them pass, detalis of what we will gain from konwing this person and why this information will be useful to us?  If people are truly brought together by fate shouldn’t they know it and why it is happening?

Maybe the mystery of not knowing who you should be with, whom you should meet, and who you should befriend is one of the great joys of liefe.  Maybe once the time is right the reasons will be revealed to us and we will understand what we are doing in life and what the purpose is.  We will udnerstand what is going on and how we are affected by it.  Will understand this thing called fate and how it works, we will know why we met all the peopel we met and what the importance of that is.

Until that day we must keep passing through this life and enjoying every minute we can, doing all that we must do to be happy individuals.  To not worry about those around us and what they are doing, but rather to worry exclusively about ourselves and figuring out exactly what it is we want and knowing that things will work out how they should, because this thing called fate won’t let us down.  To have faith that fate will let everything work out and cause us to be truly happy individuals. 

One day all the pieces will click into place and we will understand the purpse of all things and people and the purpose of what has happened in our lives.  We will understand this fate and we will know the reasons for the paths we have chosen in life.  Everything happens for a reason, finding that reeasons is the journey we call life.

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